I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
