I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
lol hangovers are for mortals.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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