I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Randomize
