It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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