he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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