we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
