i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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