is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
is this the sara with the beer cane?
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
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