im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I feel great
I just peed on a car
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
