So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Randomize
