he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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