try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Randomize
