Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
