And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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