I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
