I wanna bring you to show and tell
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
