I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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