Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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