think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Randomize
