I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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