I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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