Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
