imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
no you cant smoke seaweed
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize
