She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
