It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
you have to choose: penises or morals?
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
How's work?
Spinning.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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