she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
