She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
too bad you live with your parents still
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
ok first of all what the fuck
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
