Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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