so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
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