Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
