I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
