just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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