okay pat passed out under dana's car
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I'm getting married
To pizza
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Randomize
