you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
