I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
