chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
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