yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Randomize
