I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
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