Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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