he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
