I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
