she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize