I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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