no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
