At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
