toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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