haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Randomize