the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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