Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
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