Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(650): View more from California

on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.

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(304): View more from West Virginia

I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."

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(248): View more from Michigan

about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas

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(516): View more from New York

i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets

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(419): View more from Ohio

If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick

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(310): View more from California

How was the party last night?

(314): View more from Missouri

There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.

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(818): View more from California

A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance

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(541): View more from Oregon

He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.

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