when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
