well you can't waste a boner
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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