Ambien. No doubt about it.
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
