Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I am never drinking with the goths again.
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