So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
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