All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize