thus making me awesome and them whores
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
