I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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