I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
