Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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