On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
My bed is full of blood and feathers
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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