Porn is love you can see.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
